To my lovely Rebecca on the 5th anniversary without you.

Today is the 5th anniversary without you Rebecca, in fact it's the time you passed away five years ago as I'm writing this.

We spent a week hoping for a miracle that really was never going to happen, but living with Cystic Fibrosis for 27.5 years makes you always live in hope. You always got over the worst infections and bounced back and we still had a 2nd opinion from Papworth hospital about transplant to cling on to. But this time it wasn't to be, you'd had enough, your body had, had enough and we had to face the fact it was time for you to gain your Angel wings. Watching and waiting for you to slip away is the hardest thing I've ever had to face but even though I wanted you to stay, it would have been horrible for you, struggling to breathe not being able to do even the smallest thing. I know you liked people to run around after you, but you hated being this way. So we brought you home as you wanted and you went to sleep forever surrounded by the people who absolutely idolised and loved you.

It doesn't get easier as people have you believe, for me it's getting harder because I miss you so much.

I know you had your own life, something we always wanted you to have, but we were still a big part of your life because of Cystic fibrosis, so very close. In a very strange way, Cystic Fibrosis probably made us so much closer than maybe we would have been and for that I am grateful.

I'm trying to be strong but I'm afraid I don't have the strength you had and I'm sure you're getting a bit miffed at me when I wallow, but I'm filling my days doing something useful hopefully raising awareness about Cystic Fibrosis and raising money to try and find a cure. I know you won't benefit form this but I can't sit on my backside doing nothing when other parents still face what me and Dad are going through. Losing a child is the absolute worst thing in life that can happen to parents and it's the hope of a cure being found that keeps me going.

I want to tell you that I love you, I miss you and I was and still am so proud of the way you lived your life even though Cystic Fibrosis did everything it could to stop you. You were a star on earth and now your a star in heaven and I hope you and your granddads are having a whale of a time where you're all fit and healthy. Until we meet again my lovely girl.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

                                  You made sure you enjoyed your life my lovely

I can't leave this blog without reminding people that it's my swim this weekend and if you would like to sponsor me, here is my just giving website http://www.justgiving.com/Sue-Marley-MBE1



Thank you as always for taking the time to read.

Sue xx