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10/6/15

Anniversary 

Today it's six years since we lost Rebecca and I can say with absolute honesty this day doesn't get easier. Mothers day and Christmas are better and on a daily basis I'm mainly OK, but her birthday and today are getting harder. It's simply that one was the most joyous day (but no longer is) and the other was and still is, the most tortuous day of my life. One brought joy, happiness and a future, the other brought heartache, devastation and utter sorrow. As much as I try not to, I can't help reliving the week leading up to losing Rebecca, wishing I'd seen it coming and been able to change things. Trouble is, choose how often I relive it, it won't change and I'm still in the same horrible place wondering why my precious daughter had to have cystic fibrosis inflicted on her.

I miss her so much, she was my best friend. I miss her infectious and loud laugh, her temper, her laziness, her sunny personality and sense of fun, her sense of humour, her saying the daftest things, her shouting, her  untidiness, her love of life and her attitude of getting the absolute maximum of happiness and enjoyment out of what she knew would be a short life.
Life for her wasn't easy because of what she had to endure with CF but she made the best of it. There were no tantrums and feeling sorry for herself, no "why does it have to be me". She loved her holidays and going out and although she was always tapping money off me, she always worked hard and didn't use CF as an excuse to get a free ride. She had an art of getting people to do things for her without them realising it and in some cases like her Granma and Anne Richards, paying as well. She wasn't a angel, though she is now, but she was my very wonderful only child and I love and miss her so much it physically hurts.


 Losing Rebecca left an enormous hole in my life and choose how I try to fill it, it never gets any fuller and I don't think it ever will. As a mother I'm no longer needed, so I'll take a leaf out of her book, when she had a bad coughing fit you could hear her muttering "enough now" so I'll pull myself round again and crack on. I will continue with my fund raising to try and help find a cure for CF in the hope other mothers won't have to live with the devastation losing a child brings to your life.
 This brings me nicely on to my fund raising events:-

On 21st June at Ackworth cricket club Wakefield road Ackworth we are having a charity cricket match ana family fun day. It starts at 12 and there will be a bouncy castle ,tombola, other games, bar, free entry and a rodeo bull.

I'm also having my head shaved on the day as well which should be fun!!! If you would like to sponsor me for this scary challenge please visit my just giving website on the link below.

  https://www.justgiving.com/account/your-pages/Sue-Marley-MBE2

I have set up a new blog for our fund raising which I will share with you shortly, the first post will be a long one as I'm covering a long period of time but subsequent ones will be shorter - promise.
As always, thank you for taking the time to read. x